Things happened at our wedding exactly the way we wanted to. Then there are things that we never wanted to happen at all.
What was your motif? What was your gown made of? Did the men wear barong or suits?
There was no motif. There was no gown. Barongs and suits were not among the options.
I also remember a lot of things I didn't expect. People were smiling and having fun - I don't think I've ever bothered that much people for something that has to do with me. They made the effort to be there and we are both very grateful. They chose to dress comfortably as we have asked them to in colors that made the whole scene look like an unattended garden. It surprised me how difficult but mostly heartfelt it was to listen to our families talk, not because they were talking about us, but because they what they said reflected a lot about their own struggles.
I remember that we seized that opportunity to have my gay friends be our sole secondary sponsors even when we had to do a church wedding. We were honored to have a female judge conduct the civil rites. We were also graced by an esteemed priest whose survival from cancer and meaningful anecdotes were blessed with a timely rainbow in the sky. We were greeted in hope that despite the losses and heartbreaks that many of us experience, there is good and fullness in this marriage.
I remember saying our vows Our vows were shockingly and unintentionally in sync. We knew we were going to make each other cry but it is more of... the vulnerability that you are allowing yourself to have and just that sheer joy that you are able to share it with the other person, finally, after all these years when you both knew it, but you never said, until then. It was important that we did that in front of our families, friends and colleagues. They weren't just guests, they were all witnesses to this that we have now. As Tito Bobby said, "everyone will remember your wedding, it was very beautiful and pure." I put a smile on his face and love in his eyes, and that for me was indescribable.
And the things that happened that we never wanted to happen at all? Well, what of them?
It was a beautiful day, our family and close friends had fun and we are happy. And I am happy.
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